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The Savvy Scot

Personal finance and lifestyle blog

On Presents, Presence and Happiness

By savvyscot

We can all remember what Christmas meant to us as a kid. I remember how the night of Christmas Eve always passed so ridiculously slowly. The second hand used to tick that little bit louder as if to remind you of every second that was passing. I loved pretending to be asleep as my parents dropped the presents at the bottom of my bed, waiting for a few long minutes until it was safe and then putting on my bedside light to explore the strange shapes of wrapped parcels. That sick feeling of excitement in my stomach as I longed for it to be early enough to ‘wake my parents’ and open my presents. I used to LOVE Christmas, because I got things. New things. I was spoiled rotten and I loved it.

On Presents, Presence and Happiness

Things Began to Change

My mum always told me that true happiness could be found in giving presents and not receiving them. While I understood that this was polite and probably the right thing to do; I couldn’t comprehend why giving away something (i.e. spending my pocket money on others) could possibly feel better than receiving something (See I was a tight ******* from the beginning). I thought I would spend a lifetime pretending that I liked giving presents and hiding the fact that I grudged it hugely and even used to work out who came out of the whole ‘giving situation’ on top with my brother and sister.

As I started to grow up, I began to realise that my mum was right. When I actually took the time to pick thoughtful presents for my loved ones, I started to enjoy their reactions. I began to realise that my research and kindness was appreciated. I found the joy in appreciating others reactions and feelings.

And Then they Changed Again

The warm sensation of giving continued to grow throughout my teenage years. I would like to think that I started to become quite a selfless person – spending money on others was no longer a grudge and I became less interested in receiving gifts. As I moved away from home, I realised thateven better than giving presents was giving time.I started to recognise how important and amazing spending time my loved ones is. The smiles got bigger and the greetings warmer. I finally understood how important bonding with family and friends is.

The Presents/Presence

Not to confuse presents with the present, I now find myself with a different attitude towards giving. I am still as generous as ever and will still spoil my loved ones, but I no longer buy things for the sake of buying things.Gone are the days of trying to hit spending targets and trying to match what others might give me. I go for experiences that we all can share, or only buy people gifts when I find something special like music memorabilia for a big music fan friend. Last Christmas, this varied from a pair of UGG boots to an iPad and a Kindle to an L.E.D. bar sign. My point is that while the monetary value of the gifts that we gave varied dramatically, the thought behind each one did not. These however were only material presents, my time and company was the real gift (in a non-arrogant way).

As Mrs Scot and I spend the coming weekend Christmas shopping, this year will be no different. While we are ready to spend money selflessly on our loved ones, we will be selecting presents that are both special and meaningful to the recipients. Saving money tips will still be important as we will still use vouchers and coupons where possible, but with much less importance than in our weekly grocery shop. We will also spend our time wrapping these gifts and decorating them, while writing out personal messages; all before hand-delivering them and giving something real: Our company. Our Christmas will be filled with the company of others; sharing food, drinks, board games and sharing laughs.

What is your attitude towards Giving and what will you be doing this Christmas?

Filed Under: Reflection, Saving Money, Self Development Tagged With: Attitude towards giving, enjoying giving, Giving, how to enjoy giving, importance of christmas, pleasure out of giving, presence for christmas, presents for christmas, spotlight, why giving is important

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Lovely comments

  1. Mo' Money Mo' Houses says

    November 22, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    I totally know where you’re coming from. When I was younger I loved receiving gifts, but now I love to give them much more!

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:38 pm

      It’s a great transition!
      savvyscot recently posted..Savvy Scot Does the Lifestyle CarnivalMy Profile

  2. Drew @ Objective Wealth says

    November 22, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    Ah Scotty, I feel in a proper festive spirit now thanks to this post. Spending money on loved ones, to carefully select a gift for them and use your own hard earned money to pay for it is a fantastic feeling – not altruistic in any way, but for your own selfish pleasure. It’s easy to be sloppy with choosing items, but you’re right it’s worth doing well and if you strive to get your presents at the best price, so much the better.
    Drew @ Objective Wealth recently posted..A to Z of Objective Wealth: I is for Index FundsMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      Cheers Buddy! The self-pleasure is great indeed and after this weekend of shopping I am in a good mood!!
      savvyscot recently posted..Savvy Scot Does the Lifestyle CarnivalMy Profile

  3. Pauline says

    November 22, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    I never know what to get my mum, so last year with my sister we gave her time, and made efforts to spend more moments with her. We got her tickets for a musical and went with her, she was very happy. There is no price tag on spending time with your loved ones.
    Pauline recently posted..THANK YOU!!! And you too, Mr President…My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      What a thoughtful present!! Great idea Pauline πŸ™‚
      savvyscot recently posted..Savvy Scot Does the Lifestyle CarnivalMy Profile

  4. Mandy @ MoneyMasterMom says

    November 22, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    What a nice post. We’ve been scaling back the gifts the past few years and keeping the holidays simpler. I feel the holidays are much more enjoyable when I’m not stressing over a huge shopping list, decorations, and perfect dinners. At one Christmas gathering with all my cousins we order pizza nd wings, and go bowling. It’s so fun!
    Mandy @ MoneyMasterMom recently posted..Give Love without Getting DebtMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      Aww thanks Mandy.. That Christmas with your cousins sounded amazing!! I can’t believe a bowling alley was open though..
      savvyscot recently posted..Savvy Scot Does the Lifestyle CarnivalMy Profile

  5. K.K. @ Living Debt Free Rocks! says

    November 23, 2012 at 1:49 am

    I really get a kick when I’m able to remember when someone tells me something that they’d like to have or do and then unbeknownst to them I’ve filed the info and then buy it for them. I enjoy giving gifts and doing things for the loved ones in my lives; it’s about being meaningful in the gesture and not self-serving.
    K.K. @ Living Debt Free Rocks! recently posted..Life is What You Make Of ItMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      I am terrible at remembering things… Thank goodness for smartphones and email on the go! (and the amazon app)
      savvyscot recently posted..Savvy Scot Does the Lifestyle CarnivalMy Profile

  6. Holly@ClubThrifty says

    November 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    That is awesome! I hope to do the same thing. Christmas has become too commercialized. My favorite thing to do is eat with my family and play board games!
    Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted..Toys ‘R Us Corporate Policy: Stealing?!?My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm

      I LOVE board games!! What is your fav?

  7. Jordann @ My Alternate Life says

    November 23, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    I definitely agree with that evolution of maturity – I went through the same thing.These days it’s mostly about finding the right gift for someone, and less about the cost. That said, I do have spending limits, I’m not made of money!
    Jordann @ My Alternate Life recently posted..Friday Link Love, A Race, & a RaiseMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm

      I too have spending limits! Even though they were properly put to the test this weekend!!

  8. Miss T @ Prairie Eco-Thrifter says

    November 23, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    I am like Jordann. I am much more focused on the type of gift and it being special than cost. I also only get gifts for those who really matter to me.
    Miss T @ Prairie Eco-Thrifter recently posted..Put Your Budget on a Diet: Saving Money by Living MediumMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:42 pm

      πŸ™‚ If only the rest of the world could take note… Mind you, Credit Card companies would HATE that!

  9. Budget and the Beach says

    November 23, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    That was beautifully written! As far as my own views, I realized I had to write a blog post about it because my Christmas differs from so many bloggers out there. Stay tuned…
    Budget and the Beach recently posted..One Black Friday deal I can get behind!My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:42 pm

      Looking forward to it πŸ™‚

    • savvyscot says

      November 25, 2012 at 6:45 pm

      Thank you very much for the compliment btw!

  10. MakintheBacon$ says

    November 26, 2012 at 12:04 am

    The subject of this post is somewhat similar to my most recent one, but more beautifully written. πŸ™‚ Mine has a bit more of a sarcastic edge to it. While I’m not a Christmas person, I do enjoy giving gifts more than receiving them and although I am frugal, I do take the time to give thoughtful gifts and will spend more than I would on myself.

    This year we’ve made things a little bit more simple and wallet friendly. We’re doing Kris Kringle because all people seem to want are gift cards and this month is extra busy with my dad having an operation, I have an exam and am moving into a house.
    MakintheBacon$ recently posted..The 13th Month of the Year: β€œChristmasember”My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

      Aww thanks! I am glad you share the same sarcastic streak (although it may not have been so apparent in my last post!) I will be sure to check out your version of events πŸ™‚

  11. Untemplater says

    November 26, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I have a small family so I don’t do much holiday shopping. It is a good feeling getting loved ones things that they really want and will use. I grew up getting and giving small gifts so that has stuck with me so I tend not to spend that much on each gift.
    Untemplater recently posted..Being Thankful For The Things We Have: My Heart-Stopping ExperienceMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

      I’m with you on that one… It is even better seeing them use things months down the line and thinking ‘hey – I got you that!’ πŸ™‚

  12. Jason Clayton | frugal habits says

    November 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Totally agree Scot. Joy is found in giving. I think most people transition to this point in life (at least I hope), because there is so much more ‘life’ being on the generous side than the stingy side. This is plain to see when being around people. Those who are generous are always happy and enjoyable to socialize with. The opposite is also true.
    Jason Clayton | frugal habits recently posted..Save Thousands of Dollars with this One little RuleMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      This is very true Jason. Generosity definitely relates to happiness! πŸ™‚

  13. chris_moneyandi says

    November 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Hey Scot, I really like the post. I’ve been thinking and planning Christmas for a while now and I’m really looking forward to it. You’re building up my mood:))

    I totally agree on your mums approach on the joy of giving, but to be honest it took me a while to acknowledge that:) I was a greedy kid and couldn’t see anything else in xmas than getting nintendo’s, lego’s etc. On the other hand, does anyone know a kid, who wasn’t like that? :-)The material value should always be the secondary matter – the more effort and feelings you put into making the right gifts, the happier your loved ones will be, regardless of its material value πŸ™‚
    chris_moneyandi recently posted..Flight ticket refund and compensation: What’s the difference and when to claim?My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      November 27, 2012 at 7:07 pm

      Hey Chris! Glad to have added to the Christmas spirit!

      I think it takes even the best of us a while to make the transition – some of us never do! :S

  14. AverageJoe says

    November 30, 2012 at 1:23 am

    I’m all about (and unfortunately have become known for) giving gifts that “fit” the person and are usually one-of-a-kind. I love doing it, but it’s become time consuming.

    People love it when I spend time with them, too. I usually discount the fee for autographs to family members around the holiday season.
    AverageJoe recently posted..How Much Should I Spend on the Holidays? My 4 Ironclad Gift-Buying RulesMy Profile

  15. Catherine says

    December 1, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I love giving gifts, especially ones that people didn’t ask for but I know they’d love. As an adult I couldn’t care less if I ever received another gift. I just love to give! Especially now that we have a kid it’s changed for us again.
    Catherine recently posted..Weekly Reads 30.11.12My Profile

  16. Stephen S. says

    December 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    I agree the gifts that mean the most are the meaningful ones not the most expensive. Happy holidays to you and MS Scott!
    Stephen S. recently posted..Birth of a Backpacker: Why I TravelMy Profile

  17. Rod J. Rogers (@FreeAgentRogers) says

    December 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Presents are fun to give, but, more and more we try to share ‘experiences’ at Christmas. Going to a play, a concert, etc., leaves a memory that lingers long after many of the ‘gifts’ are gone.
    Rod J. Rogers (@FreeAgentRogers) recently posted..Enjoy a 3 Day Weekend – Every Week!My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      December 10, 2012 at 9:12 pm

      Exactly! And take a few photographs… and you can relive them even longer!! πŸ™‚

  18. Timothy Mobley says

    December 12, 2012 at 4:43 am

    So so true… I also love to volunteer with my kids. Giving back and great quality time all in one.
    Timothy Mobley recently posted..5 Easy Tips on How to Not Overspend This Christmas SeasonMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      December 14, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      That sounds great – good for you Timothy!

  19. Paul @ The Frugal Toad says

    December 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    My daughter and I went out last night and went for a ride in a horse drawn carriage and looked at the Christmas lights. We had a great time and it was as much a gift to myself as it was to my daughter!
    Paul @ The Frugal Toad recently posted..How to Avoid Going in Debt for the HolidaysMy Profile

    • savvyscot says

      December 25, 2012 at 12:23 pm

      That sounds quite magical!! Sounds like the perfect evening Paul – Merry Christmas πŸ™‚

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