The Savvy Scot

Personal finance and lifestyle blog

On Presents, Presence and Happiness

By

We can all remember what Christmas meant to us as a kid. I remember how the night of Christmas Eve always passed so ridiculously slowly. The second hand used to tick that little bit louder as if to remind you of every second that was passing. I loved pretending to be asleep as my parents dropped the presents at the bottom of my bed, waiting for a few long minutes until it was safe and then putting on my bedside light to explore the strange shapes of wrapped parcels. That sick feeling of excitement in my stomach as I longed for it to be early enough to ‘wake my parents’ and open my presents. I used to LOVE Christmas, because I got things. New things. I was spoiled rotten and I loved it.

On Presents, Presence and Happiness

Things Began to Change

My mum always told me that true happiness could be found in giving presents and not receiving them. While I understood that this was polite and probably the right thing to do; I couldn’t comprehend why giving away something (i.e. spending my pocket money on others) could possibly feel better than receiving something (See I was a tight ******* from the beginning). I thought I would spend a lifetime pretending that I liked giving presents and hiding the fact that I grudged it hugely and even used to work out who came out of the whole ‘giving situation’ on top with my brother and sister.

As I started to grow up, I began to realise that my mum was right. When I actually took the time to pick thoughtful presents for my loved ones, I started to enjoy their reactions. I began to realise that my research and kindness was appreciated. I found the joy in appreciating others reactions and feelings.

And Then they Changed Again

The warm sensation of giving continued to grow throughout my teenage years. I would like to think that I started to become quite a selfless person – spending money on others was no longer a grudge and I became less interested in receiving gifts. As I moved away from home, I realised thateven better than giving presents was giving time.I started to recognise how important and amazing spending time my loved ones is. The smiles got bigger and the greetings warmer. I finally understood how important bonding with family and friends is.

The Presents/Presence

Not to confuse presents with the present, I now find myself with a different attitude towards giving. I am still as generous as ever and will still spoil my loved ones, but I no longer buy things for the sake of buying things.Gone are the days of trying to hit spending targets and trying to match what others might give me. I go for experiences that we all can share, or only buy people gifts when I find something special like music memorabilia for a big music fan friend. Last Christmas, this varied from a pair of UGG boots to an iPad and a Kindle to an L.E.D. bar sign. My point is that while the monetary value of the gifts that we gave varied dramatically, the thought behind each one did not. These however were only material presents, my time and company was the real gift (in a non-arrogant way).

As Mrs Scot and I spend the coming weekend Christmas shopping, this year will be no different. While we are ready to spend money selflessly on our loved ones, we will be selecting presents that are both special and meaningful to the recipients. Saving money tips will still be important as we will still use vouchers and coupons where possible, but with much less importance than in our weekly grocery shop. We will also spend our time wrapping these gifts and decorating them, while writing out personal messages; all before hand-delivering them and giving something real: Our company. Our Christmas will be filled with the company of others; sharing food, drinks, board games and sharing laughs.

What is your attitude towards Giving and what will you be doing this Christmas?

Lovely comments

  2. Drew @ Objective Wealth says

    Ah Scotty, I feel in a proper festive spirit now thanks to this post. Spending money on loved ones, to carefully select a gift for them and use your own hard earned money to pay for it is a fantastic feeling – not altruistic in any way, but for your own selfish pleasure. It’s easy to be sloppy with choosing items, but you’re right it’s worth doing well and if you strive to get your presents at the best price, so much the better.
    Drew @ Objective Wealth recently posted..A to Z of Objective Wealth: I is for Index FundsMy Profile

  4. Mandy @ MoneyMasterMom says

    What a nice post. We’ve been scaling back the gifts the past few years and keeping the holidays simpler. I feel the holidays are much more enjoyable when I’m not stressing over a huge shopping list, decorations, and perfect dinners. At one Christmas gathering with all my cousins we order pizza nd wings, and go bowling. It’s so fun!
    Mandy @ MoneyMasterMom recently posted..Give Love without Getting DebtMy Profile

  5. K.K. @ Living Debt Free Rocks! says

    I really get a kick when I’m able to remember when someone tells me something that they’d like to have or do and then unbeknownst to them I’ve filed the info and then buy it for them. I enjoy giving gifts and doing things for the loved ones in my lives; it’s about being meaningful in the gesture and not self-serving.
    K.K. @ Living Debt Free Rocks! recently posted..Life is What You Make Of ItMy Profile

  10. MakintheBacon$ says

    The subject of this post is somewhat similar to my most recent one, but more beautifully written. 🙂 Mine has a bit more of a sarcastic edge to it. While I’m not a Christmas person, I do enjoy giving gifts more than receiving them and although I am frugal, I do take the time to give thoughtful gifts and will spend more than I would on myself.

    This year we’ve made things a little bit more simple and wallet friendly. We’re doing Kris Kringle because all people seem to want are gift cards and this month is extra busy with my dad having an operation, I have an exam and am moving into a house.
    MakintheBacon$ recently posted..The 13th Month of the Year: “Christmasember”My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      Aww thanks! I am glad you share the same sarcastic streak (although it may not have been so apparent in my last post!) I will be sure to check out your version of events 🙂

    • savvyscot says

      I’m with you on that one… It is even better seeing them use things months down the line and thinking ‘hey – I got you that!’ 🙂

  12. Jason Clayton | frugal habits says

    Totally agree Scot. Joy is found in giving. I think most people transition to this point in life (at least I hope), because there is so much more ‘life’ being on the generous side than the stingy side. This is plain to see when being around people. Those who are generous are always happy and enjoyable to socialize with. The opposite is also true.
    Jason Clayton | frugal habits recently posted..Save Thousands of Dollars with this One little RuleMy Profile

  13. chris_moneyandi says

    Hey Scot, I really like the post. I’ve been thinking and planning Christmas for a while now and I’m really looking forward to it. You’re building up my mood:))

    I totally agree on your mums approach on the joy of giving, but to be honest it took me a while to acknowledge that:) I was a greedy kid and couldn’t see anything else in xmas than getting nintendo’s, lego’s etc. On the other hand, does anyone know a kid, who wasn’t like that? :-)The material value should always be the secondary matter – the more effort and feelings you put into making the right gifts, the happier your loved ones will be, regardless of its material value 🙂
    chris_moneyandi recently posted..Flight ticket refund and compensation: What’s the difference and when to claim?My Profile

    • savvyscot says

      Hey Chris! Glad to have added to the Christmas spirit!

      I think it takes even the best of us a while to make the transition – some of us never do! :S

  15. Catherine says

    I love giving gifts, especially ones that people didn’t ask for but I know they’d love. As an adult I couldn’t care less if I ever received another gift. I just love to give! Especially now that we have a kid it’s changed for us again.
    Catherine recently posted..Weekly Reads 30.11.12My Profile

Recommended Reading:

Disclaimer

Neither The Savvy Scot or any guest writers on this site are finance professionals. All writing on this site is intended for entertainment purposes only. Some posts on this site may be sponsored and will include links to external content. See Terms & Conditions page for further details.