Need to play catchup?
Part 1 – Exercise
Part 2 – Eating Healthily
Part 3 – Get Knowledge
Part 4 – Your Appearance
Part 5 – Learn New Skills
Part 6 – Fix Your Wardrobe
So you have followed steps 1 through 6 and you are well on your way to making a significant change in your life; a change that is lasting and will shape your future like you never thought possible. One problem, in order to make these changes effective and actually matter – you have to make sure that you have a social life!
Nobody Likes a Billy-No-Mates (Literally)
What is wrong with you?
Are you?
- Arrogant
- Insecure
- Over-confident
- Plain rude
- Loud
- Quiet
- Fun
- Boring
Do you?
- Constantly make rude jokes
- Laugh at everything
- Swear too much
The list goes on… I have found one of the best approaches to identifying points to work on is to make a list of things that you self-identify and then ask your best friends / family for an honest opinion. Ask them if they have anything else to add to the list. Pitch the question along the lines of ‘Which of these areas do you think I could improve in‘ instead of ‘Which of these bad traits do I possess‘. This will allow you to save face and enable the other person to be more honest. After your list is verified or even expanded… find a way to fix the faults. While Googling various questions will provide a list of comprehensive guides, sometimes getting out there and ‘practicing’ is all you need to do.
Meet New People
Go to bars, clubs, restaurants, social clubs, gyms, sports teams, theatre etc. Choose something you are interested in and find the social events that run alongside. Talk to new people, get numbers, emails, facebooks, twitters, blogs etc. and pursue the friendship. This takes both effort and time.
A great example of this is that I wanted to make new diver friends. I took a course at the local dive club and found out there was a monthly BBQ social event. Needless to say, a few beers and burgers later and I find myself with a new set of diving buddies! Being like-minded individuals, we instantly clicked! You are not the only person who wants to make new friends, nor are you the only person who enjoys having fun!
The more you do these things, the easier it becomes. The more events you go to… the more frequent the opportunities there are to make friends and improve your social life. If there isn’t an event available… create one. Host a poker night / dinner party / movie night. Don’t be scared that nobody will come – set the expectations and ensure that you plan it properly. These people will almost certainly have a great time… and they will appreciate it. They will also soon return the favour.
Determine who your true friends are – the ones that you have the most in common with, the ones that are there ‘no matter what’, the ones that invite you back – and keep them. Make the effort and don’t neglect them when something that appears better comes along.
Attend events that are varied and attend events often. Above all else, the key to improving your social life is exposure. No wonder you don’t have many friends if all you do is go to work, come home and watch TV. It is time to get the finger out….
Increased social skills leads to an increased size of network. This in turn relates to an increased web of opportunity. Opportunity leads to return. Effectively it is true – it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. That my friends is an unwritten rule in making serious cash.
I suggest volunteering and joining clubs to meet new people. I’ve done it and it’s worked for me!
Volunteering is a great suggestions Jess 🙂
“It’s not what you know, but who you know…” Yes sir that is right on target. Another one is this, “It’s not what you know, but what others think you know.” Also very true!
Jason Clayton | frugal habits recently posted..Conscience Spending: How to Buy Whatever You Want Without Guilt
That is fantastic! I love that one…
I’m pretty fortunate in that beach volleyball has provided me with a big network of people in all industries. My goal is to branch out a bit more at networking events in my own field though.
budget and the Beach recently posted..Wandering bartender or digital nomad? Ways to fund a nomadic lifestyle
I’m a total homebody. I love the comfort of my home, family and closest friends all together. I think it’s because I spend my entire professional day interacting and providing a service for the public which is exhausting. When you see 7 different patients a day, all with very different personalities and you need to accommodate them, make them comfortable and have them on your ‘good side’ it requires you to have many hats so-to-speak. At the end of the day I’m done with people (not to say I don’t love my job) but I just want sheer comfort. I get enough socialization at work I guess. Again, this isn’t to say I don’t enjoy meeting new people and gaining new friends but I’ll take quality of quantity any day.
Catherine recently posted..My First Giveaway! Autographed Big Cook Cookbook!
It sounds like you have SO many interactions at work that you just want some alone time at the end of the day. I totally understand that… I guess the weekends are a much better opportunity for you to socialise and interact with others in a non-work way! I also love a close knit group around me.
The big one for meeting new people for me was playing social sport. I’ve met probably 20 people through sport and maybe 5 of them became pretty good friends. Gotta put yourself out there!
James @ Free in Ten Years recently posted..How I made $350 by selling junk
Sport is a great one.. the winning (or losing) as a team is a great way to share a bond and start a great friendship. I agree.. it’s all about putting yourself out there!
I regularly have job offers from mates who work at other companies. Without knowing them I wouldn’t have half the opportunities that I do now.
Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted..Buying Land and Building a House – Part 3
I am beginning to see this for myself now too. Do you ever get decent offers… as in substantially better than your current situation?
Most things really come down to who you know…it’s a very powerful thing to have friends of influence. I got my first and 2nd jobs because of people I knew. We meet a lot of people at our church so that’s helpful as well.
Jason recently posted..Top Things to Do While Traveling in Europe
I also think Church is a great place to make true friends with good values.
I’ve secured my current job based on connections, and I’m really happy I had that network in place!
Jordann @ My Alternate Life recently posted..Reconciling Consumerism with Minimalism
That is amazing to hear that first hand Jordann! Do you use LinkedIN?
I can’t believe how many new friends I’ve made since I’ve started my blog. Between readers that have connected with me, or other bloggers, it’s been totally AWESOME!
Mandy @ MoneyMasterMom recently posted..Give Love without Getting Debt
😀 – You will soon have a friend in every country…. CHEAP holidays!
It’s funny how your social life changes after having a child. Most of our social things revolve around kid activities and are with other parents. I’m just fine with that. They understand when I’m yawning at 9PM!
How do you do this without any money ? Well, I mean, when I don’t have any money.