Need to play catchup?
So you have followed steps 1 through 6 and you are well on your way to making a significant change in your life; a change that is lasting and will shape your future like you never thought possible. One problem, in order to make these changes effective and actually matter – you have to make sure that you have a social life!
Nobody Likes a Billy-No-Mates (Literally)
What is wrong with you?
- Plain rude
- Constantly make rude jokes
- Laugh at everything
- Swear too much
The list goes on… I have found one of the best approaches to identifying points to work on is to make a list of things that you self-identify and then ask your best friends / family for an honest opinion. Ask them if they have anything else to add to the list. Pitch the question along the lines of ‘Which of these areas do you think I could improve in‘ instead of ‘Which of these bad traits do I possess‘. This will allow you to save face and enable the other person to be more honest. After your list is verified or even expanded… find a way to fix the faults. While Googling various questions will provide a list of comprehensive guides, sometimes getting out there and ‘practicing’ is all you need to do.
Meet New People
Go to bars, clubs, restaurants, social clubs, gyms, sports teams, theatre etc. Choose something you are interested in and find the social events that run alongside. Talk to new people, get numbers, emails, facebooks, twitters, blogs etc. and pursue the friendship. This takes both effort and time.
A great example of this is that I wanted to make new diver friends. I took a course at the local dive club and found out there was a monthly BBQ social event. Needless to say, a few beers and burgers later and I find myself with a new set of diving buddies! Being like-minded individuals, we instantly clicked! You are not the only person who wants to make new friends, nor are you the only person who enjoys having fun!
The more you do these things, the easier it becomes. The more events you go to… the more frequent the opportunities there are to make friends and improve your social life. If there isn’t an event available… create one. Host a poker night / dinner party / movie night. Don’t be scared that nobody will come – set the expectations and ensure that you plan it properly. These people will almost certainly have a great time… and they will appreciate it. They will also soon return the favour.
Determine who your true friends are – the ones that you have the most in common with, the ones that are there ‘no matter what’, the ones that invite you back – and keep them. Make the effort and don’t neglect them when something that appears better comes along.
Attend events that are varied and attend events often. Above all else, the key to improving your social life is exposure. No wonder you don’t have many friends if all you do is go to work, come home and watch TV. It is time to get the finger out….
Increased social skills leads to an increased size of network. This in turn relates to an increased web of opportunity. Opportunity leads to return. Effectively it is true – it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. That my friends is an unwritten rule in making serious cash.